Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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