In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
