HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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