is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
