I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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