I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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