fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
