hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize