You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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