my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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