how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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