After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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