Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
