Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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