I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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