Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
