ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
