We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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