You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my fart just growled at me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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