Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
