Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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