no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She has the best kind of daddy issues
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
