I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Bring me that man meat
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
