She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
