I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
