the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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