all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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