i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
