you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
