I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
