I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sacagawea was the original milf.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
