Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
