I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
