Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
