I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
