I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my shit smells like andre
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There r osticjed everywhere
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
