Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
