Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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