walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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