He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
