anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
