the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
