Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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