you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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