So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
