You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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