How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize