I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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