You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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