Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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