i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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