Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
