I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
