Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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