Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
