so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
