hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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