Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
