He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
