you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
