i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize