her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize