The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
