We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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