Can i not drive my cunt home
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize