We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
