Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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