sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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