The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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