so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
