you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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