I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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