Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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