Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
