and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
